oddstaff and the banquet

I never did get around to blogging about my Chennai trip, did I? A place so different and yet so unique that i love visiting :-) One of the more fun parts of the trip (and unusual - given that I'm NOT a foodie) was the unrelenting focus on food, with the Area being converted into my own personal smorgasbord. Quite the culinary voyage.....

***
Saravana Bhavan, ******akkam, Madras.

7.00 pm.
Oddstaff and Z arrive. Listlessly eye invading hordes at the door.

7.05 pm.
Z: Well, I've put our name down for a table.
O: Did he say how long it would take?
Z: Fifteen minutes.
O: Dude, no way. Look at that waiting area. There must be a thousand people ahead of us.
Z: Don't exaggerate, there are only 994.
O: Ya, but two of them are pregnant.
Z: Look, he said 15 minutes. Let's just wait and see and if we don't get a table then we can always go elsewhere.
O: Sigh. Okay.

7.25 pm
O: It's half past seven.
Z: Ya, I know. I guess he was wrong about the 15 minutes.
O: I told you so. Can we go now?
Z: What, after we've waited twenty minutes? Of course not.
O: But, but...you said.
Z: Look, I'm sure we'll get a table any moment now.
O: How? That line in the waiting area hasn't moved.
Z: Well, don't look at me, you're the one who wanted to come here.
O: Me?
Z: Sure. You asked for this place.
O: I did not. You asked me if I was okay with South Indian and I said "Sure, why not"
Z: See - exactly.

7.40 pm
Z: Hmmm...this is getting ridiculous. It isn't normally this crowded you know.
O: *wounded silence*
Z: Maybe we should get it to go.
O: We can get it to go? Really? Why didn't we do that straight away?
Z: Because we were going to get a table.
O: Wha...Why?
Z: Well, I thought you might want to see what the place is like. You know, check out the ambiance.
O: What ambiance? The place is more crowded than Dadar station at rush hour.
Z: Well, you're the one who's always saying you miss Bombay.
O: Oh, never mind, let's just go order.

7.45 pm
[Bloody but unbowed, O & Z arrive at the counter, having hacked their way through a tropical rainforest of arms and legs]
Z: ...and we'll have one plate of X as well*
Uncle-ji at counter: X? You sure you want X? Why not have Y instead? Very tasty. Absolutely fresh.
Z: Okay, one plate of Y then. How long will it take?
Uncle-ji: Oh, ten minutes.

7.50 pm
[O & Z reduced to mere flotsam in sea of humanity, trying desperately to get the last molecules of remaining oxygen in the place into their lungs. O makes a break for it and goes stands in the parking lot. It's good to be back in the First World.]

8.15 pm
Z: How long is that order going to take?
Uncle-ji: It's almost done.
Z: You said ten minutes. It's been half an hour.
Uncle-ji: Yes, I know. It's that Y you ordered. We'd run out so we're having to make a new batch.
Z: But you told me to take Y. You said it was absolutely fresh.
Uncle-ji: And it will be. When it's ready.
Z: *grits teeth. tries not to swear* What about the rest of our order?
Uncle-ji: Oh, that's right here. It's been ready for twenty minutes.
Z: Right, forget the Y then. We're going.

8:20 pm
O: So, did the guy ever call our table?
Z: No. I asked him about that on the way out.
O: What did he say?
Z: He said it would be just fifteen minutes.
***

*Sorry, I don't actually remember what we ordered. The food was that unmemorable.