jinda jee hajoori karke

This post is a tribute to all the butt-kissers, boot-lickers, smelly and pokey people who add spice to otherwise mundane life on this beautiful planet. Mind you i havent added the clause like including or excluding. I admit its an art which only a few can master and i see a lot of people struggling hard day-in and day-out only to end up putting their legs in their own mouth :)

Let me begin by asking a question - Can you think of a single point of differentiation between a tech-savvy and a non tech-savvy guy? Now dont say good question :) It really is!! I would say it's the same as the difference between a person who has the information and and the person who has knowledge about something. Still how do we find who belongs to one set of people and who to another set. Can we have a yardstick?

CC and BCC - The two words came to my mind; also happen to be the genesis of this post.

CC- Carbon copy

BCC - Blind Carbon copy

These two small words has the power of an ocean. Let me categorise three class of people on the basis of understanding of these two words. Pls. keep the following assumption in mind.

Assumption - Knowledge is the application of information for constructive or destructive purposes. Information standalone is meaningless.

1. Rookie - A person who somtimes understand but rarely uses. This is a guy who knows the meaning but doesnt know the usage. I had known the meaning of CC and BCC only during my engineering. Let me confess, before that i would write the same mails to different people adressing them individually and still beleived that the first mover advantage lies with me.

2. Techie - A person who has the information. An engineer probably, an internet junkie, he definitely has the information, He uses also but doesnt understand the power of it or uses them for all meaningless purposes; remember all kinds of forwards and backwards sent by freinds and uninterested persons chocked in between.

3. Tech Savvy - A person who has the knowledge. Now this is an elite class of people; choicest of the lot. A holy techie who understands the power of these two words and uses them constructively or destructively.

Keeping the above classification in mind, there can be two kinds of usages Constructive usage (+ usage) and Destructive usage (- usage)

a. + Usage - The people using them constructively; also unpopularly known as Ass-lickers. This guy will mark a copy to all the people who call the shots in the organisation, without questioning the need. The content of the mail may be shoddy. The lead time for the ideas to result into meaningful results ( read - cost saving/ revenues) would be high, but definitely the lag time for his fame shots up instantaneously.

b. - Usage - They people falling in this cageogory would be called as the real Boss, Generals, Commanders etc. Used as weapon by the people for the people. One can get ones work done without much time elapse, you just need to choose judiciusly whose name should figure in CC and whose in BCC. It hardly takes few seconds to turn an otherwise unflappable guy to nuts to deliver the results. No wonder the seemingly tech-savvy, sophisticated and well behaved in suit-boot IT guy doesnt love to wash dirty linen in public, because he washes them regularly in private vide CC and BCC.

All said and done it took some time for me to understand the crazy system that works in this knowledge industry. Sooner the better!! These two and three digit words are mantra in vogue. Its like a double edged sword, a nuclear reaction. Controlled and judicious usage (i.e. fission reaction) can work wonders. The other would be fusion, (an uncontrolled nuclear reaction) - You are no better than the suicide bomber, you kill some one with precision but also end up blowing youself.

So, gents beware and take care.....

the new girl

Everyone flirts with the new girl. I mean everyone. From those preternaturally single guys in IT to the married-with-children creeps from accounting. Even Sharma, whose wife actually works in the next department for god's sake, is always hanging around, trying to strike up a conversation. And you can't tell me that Mishra's sudden interest in 'team building' has nothing to do with his department's latest hire.

Frankly, it's disgusting. There they are, hanging around her at lunch time like a bunch of limp, wingless pigeons, solicitude guttering from their throats, or stopping by her desk whenever they feel like it to ask how she's settling in. "Don't you have work to do?" I feel like asking them. The bastards. Pretending to be all friendly and concerned when all they really want is a peek down her shirt. Can't they see that she has no interest in talking to them? That when she smiles at them or engages in small talk it's just because she's new and doesn't want to seem impolite? That all she wants is to be left alone? Men, I tell you.

Poor thing. What she really needs is a friend. Someone she can really talk to. Someone who'll understand what she has to put up with, who'll sympathize. Maybe someone who'll even shame some of these leeches into staying away. Hmm. Let me just go over and say hello...

Faith

Faith
Sees the invisible
Believes the incredible &
Achieves the impossible

I read this on the table of an university professor. Does it sound cliched?? I have not come across this earlier; but its one of the kick ass proverb read in recent times.

hit or hype

On any networking site, people look for friends for different reasons. Next step they form virtual eco-systems by rallying for or against some personality/ideology. One such example is the community for fan-clubs/hate-clubs. I was curious to know the front runner among all these clubs on one of the most successful networking sites - Yes you guessed right!!

This led me to the following snippets –

Case Study -1

I Hate Ekta Kapoor !!!

members (77255)
Description: Isn't there anything left in lives of women apart from plotting against one another & sleeping around with their husband's friends ?? May god help me out !!!

Ekta Kapoor - The Entrepreneur

members (19)
Description: For all those poeple who may not like Ekta Kapoor serials but admires her for her vision and her skills in creating this brand 'Ekta Kapoor' and taking Balaji Telefilms to new heights

When I typed “Ekta Kapoor” I got over 1000 results with the first one being the first one above. I wonder if someone else is hated with so much love than Ekta Kapoor. Curiousity went to next level - I delved deep into this hate-love affair went page after page till 100th result, the only fan- The Entrepreneur, which again had people who may not like her serials but admire her business acumen. I call it as a pesudo fan-club.

I gave up after 100 results, but enriched my vocabulary int he process having learnt snonyms for hate e.g. – sucker, virus, paralyzer, surpasses science, the sult etc. etc. I have excluded the words whose usage would be rare. Some wanted to kill her, behead her, and all other things to her. This hatred brought creativity to the fore; as they made all kinds of pictures which otherwise I could see in puja mandap of Durga and Kaali. Some one was teasing her while some said to her don’t tease us.

Case Study - 2

Himesh Reshamiya Hate Club

members (33638)
Description: Welcome to the oldest community for Himesh Reshamiya,s HATERS. For anyone who hate Himesh Reshamiya the nasal singer

Himesh Reshammiya Fan Club

members (29334)
Description: Himesh Reshammiya (born July 23, 1973) is an Indian Bollywood film music composer and singer. Early in his career, he received critical acclaim for his musical scores, although the films associated with them were not popular at the box office. As of mid-2006, he has become a popular name in the industry. His first film was Bandhan (1998), in which he collaborated with Anand Raj Anand to produce the musical score. Although it was not the first film to which he contributed music, it was the first one on which he was listed as a contributing music director.

Ek sherni to dusra sawa sher –

Himesh is already a rockstar. Hats off to him!! :) When I searched for him in the club section the same site gave me first two responses as above. Unlike Ekta’s case where a lot of clubs would be subsets of the other- as almost all of them were hate-clubs, (with the only pseudo fan club with around 19 members), his case is interesting in a different way - the intensity of love and hate; almost neck to neck.

In a way this is true even for Ekta Kapoor as lots of her fans are not netizens. I have personally seen hordes of old women sitting on the roads of Juhu, just to get her glimpse while she comes out for late afternoon jog. Not to mention, the entire household coming to standstill at the time of her serials. This is the segment which generally wont figure in the above clubs.

Kisi bujurg ne sahi kaha tha – Badnaami mein bhi naam Chuppa hai....

A City in a Village - A villager in IT

“A thin line separates your office and home – we call it as Hosur Road” – A statement on the hoarding advertising the sale of apartments struck me. Welcome to the Silicon Valley of India, also known as Bengaluru. Every Tom, Dick here is in Infosys and Wipro, and every Harry (the lesser mortals) are in HCL and the leftovers are in hundreds of others of the same ilk.

For my friends who never had the God forsaken chance of first hand visit of Electronic City in Bangalore perhaps this can be some news. What this statement meant is when all the IT giants are on one side of the road you can purchase a house on the other side of the road which is purely a residential area.

This statement should actually read – “A thin line separates the city and the village”. And all the nostalgic folks like me who miss their village life dearly for all this mad rush of becoming rich overnight would really cherish this situation. It’s like enjoying fruits of both the world; work with the most revered names in the industry and also enjoy the dusky lanes of a village.

This so called thin line also has another thick significance to it – the extremities of the lifestyle of the people. One side of the road you will find swanky lawns with all modern amenities, restaurants, shops and what not; inside the campuses that you can even plan a date. But on the other side, while you can easliy spot people enjoying som-rasa once it gets dark, you struggle to find a decent hotel for food.

But I guess this research is farfetched at least now since it doesn’t affect any because the people who work on one side don’t live on the other side and vice versa. I only wonder what will happen after one year, the proposed time for this thin line to become 6 lane flyover, when the city would be too choked to accommodate any more techies.

dadagiri to gandhigiri

The greatness of this man was his simplicity. Lets discover the Gandhi in ourselves

Very few people carry their reel life image to real life image with such panache as Sanjay Dutt; though Salman keeps flexing his mucles every now and then only to follow a close second.

Sanju is original Moombayya bhai who has been there, done that and showed the people what and how things gets done behind the curtains. Everybody knew that underworld existed only in newspapers till Sanju baba brought it out in the open with his quality flicks.

Now he wants to shed "bhai" image and promote the new concept - Gandhiri and he has done it with aplomb. The Sanjay Dutt starrer - Lage Raho Munnabhai has triggered Gandhivaad, which till now existed only in the minds but seldom practised. Gandhi, the face of Indian freedom struggle was always revered conveniently, only to be remembered on Public/ National holidays and forgotten on other days.

Never in the last 2 decades that i have seen "Gandhigiri" being discussed by Indians openly with so much of interest. Surely the student community would talk about him as they read in the books but as they grew up soon realised how out of place his ideas were in this materialistic world. What would follow then is pseudo reverence, not to mention the umpteen jokes doing round the corners, when Gandhi is remembered for all the wrong reasons at all wrong places at wrong times.

Hats off Sanjay Dutt that he pulled it off so nicely in Lage Raho Munna Bhai. I am not sure how far he would succeed taking this image to real life from reel life, but his movie has already started a new cult of life - Gandhigiri. The movie had definitely made people look back and think. They are questioning their current stand. Gandhi's idealogy is not transient but enduring.

Let's break the circuit....

A small eternity

Now that the rain has finally stopped, I sit by the window, listen to the slow drip of water from the leaves of the palm trees. It is good to be back in Bombay in time for the monsoon.

From my fourth floor window, I watch the fishmonger pass by, his voice like a ragged tear in the fabric of my Sunday calm. In this newlywashed morning even his cry seems clean, unbloodied.

On his head he carries a basket loaded with fish. As I watch, a first shaft of sunlight breaks through the clouds and the scales of the fish gleam silver.

Seeing his thin, barechested form plodding along under the weight of that reflected radiance, I think of the history that walks unnoticed through our streets. Of the glory of our lost kings, our vanished empires. Of all the discarded and broken crowns lying at the bottom of the sea.

He turns the corner and disappears. I am left with only this empty road, its surface still slick with the morning's showers.

en route to Bhimashankar

For the easy-going, Bhimashankar, about 275 km from Mumbai by road is a weekend getaway. For others, like us, at 3250-ft high and a 4.5-hour gruelling trek from Khandas village – it is a test of endurance for our muscles, joints and of perseverance for our minds.

To reach Khandas, take the Mumbai-Pune highway till Chauk and take a left, drive 40km from Chouk via Karjat to Khandas village. From Khandas, it is an up-hill climb to the first plateau, then a trail through forests, and again an up-hill climb to the Bhimashankar plateau.The temple on top, dedicated to Lord Shiva, dates back to 18th century. Legend is that Lord Shiva, killed Bhima, an Asura who lived there. Bhimashankar wild life sanctuary is home to a variety of endangered species of flora and fauna. The Giant Indian Squirrel is a major attraction, while the other species present include Panther, Sambar, Wild Boar, etc. The Bhima river originates from here and joins river Krishna. Trekking during the monsoons is ideal and the most enjoyable, with endless stretches of greenery right from the base, with water falls and gushing streams. But it is also the most risky.

Initially, we planned to cover only the first plateau and a hike through the forests, since trekking up to Bhimashankar and back on the same day could be a daunting task. But the enthusiasm was infectious and each had a point to prove to oneself. Even the first timers were determined.

I had been to Bhimashankar in 2002 which was thrilling in a different way, the only common thread being the monsoon. We biked all the way from Pune in the intermittent rains to reach the peak for the holy darshan of Lord Shiva.

kala ghoda

Kala Ghoda (black horse), Mumbai’s art district, is named after a black stone statue of King Edward VII (as the then Prince of Wales) mounted on a horse. The name stuck even after the statue was moved in 1965 to storehouses of the Bhau Daji Lad Museum (formerly the Victoria & Albert Museum (Mumbai)) in Byculla, Central Mumbai. The statue is now at the Jijamata Udyan, Byculla.

A historically important place, Kala Ghoda is now known for the Kala Ghoda Arts Festival, conducted every year since 1999 for nine days in February. The festival is organised by the Kala Ghoda Association, a non-profit organisation working towards physically upgrading the precinct, drawing attention to its beauty and history, and making it the Art District of Mumbai.

This colourful and vibrant festival is an amalgam of gallery and pavement shows, exhibitions, literary events, film screenings, music concerts, dance performances, theatre shows, workshops, heritage walks, a food fiesta, and a buzzing street festival that bring in participants and audiences from all over the country and outside.

kathingadh trek

Kathingadh / Tung

Kathingadh, literally translated, means 'difficult fort'. So there was some trepidation while getting there - but this turned out to be one of the easiest treks I've been on, barring Murud-Janjira, which wasn't a trek at all. So, this fort will be known as Saralgadh from now on.

6 am at Ahura Bakery, Andheri; it's still dark, and the newspaper packers are getting the bundles ready on the pavements. When I reached, I called my friend to confirm where he was, and saw an european guy waving frantically at me from the other side of the road. But when I went over, his happy expression suddenly turned into a very confused one; apparently he had been calling someone else at the same time, saw my cell, and assumed I was the friend who was supposed to have arrived. And I guess the friend also told him something along the lines of "I'm practically there!" so there was a moment of serious identity crisis while he tried to desperately figure out who the hell I was. This was my first meeting with three exchange students from France. They were supposed to join 2 days later for academics and here they were to explore the mountains of India.

We had hired a 25-seater sky blue minibus this time round (which is exactly like the ones the government uses for administering polio eradication drives in the countryside, so we were greeted with villagers and scared-looking children all ready for the polio shots when we arrived, but that's another story)

Picked up another bud (long live the Net! He joined up via an Orkut community) from Sion, and headed down to Chembur for the first pitstop to fill up on fuel; Also there was something about that canteen next to the petrol station which is the embodiment of travel. Hot chai, cold morning, and a cig-joint.

Fairly peaceful journey out of Bombay; I slept very peacefully if ungracefully, in spite of the bus conking off at few places and some intro sessions; and woke up at a place called the El Taj for breakfast. The ride got quite a bit more bumpy from here; rockin and rollin, we finally arrived well and truly shaken and stirred.


Quickly got a guide, and started walking up. The sun was out, and it was pretty bright, but surprisingly not very hot. Pleasantly warm at best. Passed a palm tree with an old man sitting under it who gave us all an extremely baleful, evil look. Probably guarding his tadi up in the tree.

Started climbing; this was a fairly easy climb, but B, who was trying this for the first time, had to stop halfway up, not feeling too well. So we (me and N) drop her back and then come literally running back. Without packs, it took just about ten minutes to reach the entrance. Cool. Arrive to find the group sitting like a disaster-struck refugee camp, draped across the landscape in various dispirited poses at the base of the final peak. The peak, naturally, had the mandatory flag.

It also had a little gap in the wall which we tried to use as a kitchen, but the place heated up so fast with the smoke it was more like a tandoor in which D emerged, coughing and semi-broiled. We were not hungry enough to eat a whole Roast D, so we let him be and A made a fire on the edge where we quickly heated up some tuna mince. So, in the afternoon, we're sitting at the top of the hill in the warm winter sunshine, eating hot fish, bread, apples, theplas, cheese sandwiches, khajur... you get the picture. I'll get paan next time, and I know how to get it properly, too. Hmmm...

After lunch, a very peaceful hour lying in the shade, chilling. Spectacular view all around; misty mountains on one side - you can see the forts of Lohagadh and Visapur in the north, and Tikona in the east; and the Pawna lake on the south.


Cool, strong wind. Silence. Once in a while, you can see the wake of a speedboat slowly creeping across the steel-blue waters, or the gently drifting orange of a sailboat. From that height, they look like ants; but the silence is so intense you can hear them. A farmer, far, far down, was calling out to his bullocks as he plowed. The top of the fort is fairly small, and has mostly deformed, alien-looking vegetation that's dried banana trees, and tall yellow grass; there's also a small shrine to Devi Tuljai, and a small reservoir. You can't drink or bathe in it, though; too dirty.



After resting, we wanted to practice rapelling, since Harshchandragadh was coming up soon; some other people immediately wanted to try it out, so that afternoon's entertainment came from helping the new trekkers through their first steps in rapelling. Very small descent, but quite noisy; this vertical limit the rapelling session amidst yells and people shouting instructions had its own fun.

Climb down later in the afternoon, peaceful and incidentless. Play a little cricket with the village kids at the bottom.There had been a samadhi earlier in the afternoon, and the European guests wandered too close to it, the dog who was happily accompanying them till then suddenly went extremely nuts and growled them away. Animals and death have a strange relationship; they can sense death, and it makes them uneasy, and they will warn away people from that place. Maybe they can smell a dead body; maybe it goes deeper than that, and they can sense the soul itself, wandering around briefly before it moves on. Either way; best avoided.

Pile in and head off to a Kamat's in Lonavla, where we went berserk with giant paper dosas and paan.


Happy ending.
Good, relaxed sunday.