One of the most lingering side-effects of doing MBA is an undeniable fascination with putting things into 2x2 matrices. This is in continuation to last post where we saw different colours of Professors. Yes it’s the turn of students. Let’s put our house in order. This has again two dimensions: Taking yourself too seriously and Trying too hard. The interaction of the two gives us the following figure.
Phooka are dull, silent creatures, secure and self-righteous. Typically lacking in any sense of humour whatsoever, Phooka are usually content to live their own insular and smug lives, and rarely inflict their opinions on other people. However, they are extremely sensitive to things that they see as attacking their values / beliefs and are quick to take offense at things that are said against them. They have an almost morbid fear of being made to look ridiculous and are unappreciative of jokes at their expense. These fears / hurts express themselves as disengagement rather than confrontation, however - Phooka are the ultimate passive-aggressives. Because they are afraid of being shown up, Phooka will tend not to react openly to negative stimuli, preferring to let a simmering resentment grow within them. Interestingly, Phooka are often pious and 'sincere' though this is a fake sincerity that is based on complacency rather than humility. Because their puny brains are often incapable of dealing with contradiction, Phooka have trouble respecting / considering other people's opinions and prefer a 'simple' if suffocating world view where they are always right.
Goblins are possibly the most annoying of all creatures in this matrix. Opinionated and belligerent, Goblins will seek out views that run contrary to their own without provocation, and proceed to attack them with all the bitterness they can muster. While Goblins may often be full of biting wit, they have no real sense of humour, simply because they will never make (and usually cannot take) jokes at their own expense - humour to them is more a weapon than a toy. Driven by insecurity, Goblins will constantly seek opportunities to assert their own points of view, but will be unwilling to listen to others and will react to opposing positions based more on emotional frenzy than on rational thought. Goblins will never admit to being wrong. Logic is wasted on Goblins because they are selective listeners and will use it only to support conclusions that favour them - never considering how the same argument could be used against them. Goblins are incapable of seeing things from the other point of view. The average Goblin suffers from a strong persecution complex and is extremely self-involved - to the point of assuming that everything in the world is somehow about him/ her.
Pixies are the featherbrains of the world. Generous and good of heart, Pixies are anxious to please and desperate for acceptance. Rather than being self-involved, Pixies are infact almost entirely externally involved - they often have no discernible opinions / talents / personalities of their own, but always seem to be in search of external validation. While they are the most likely to make jokes (including jokes about themselves) their jokes are usually more notable for their quantity rather than their quality. Pixies are wannabes - strivers have no real personality and usually an extremely limited depth of understanding about the things that they talk about - yet silence makes them uncomfortable and they are often uncomfortable being alone. Unlike Goblins, who are convinced that everyone hates them, Pixies cannot stand the thought that anyone could hate them and are therefore almost self-effacing in their desire to please - they arrange away confrontations. While pixies may have little faith in their own worth, they may often be convinced that other people find them charming and intelligent and believe that effort is all it takes to be respected - not realising how silly and cloying they may seem. Pixies can be annoying, but you cannot bring yourself to hate them - you know that they mean well and you often like them, but you cannot begin to take them seriously.
Dwarves are, of course, the most aspirational of all the life-forms in this model. Like Phooka, Dwarves are little concerned with what other people think about them, but unlike Phooka they are secure enough to admit that other people could be right. Dwarves have a great sense of humour and will laugh at themselves as much as they will laugh at others - they are intensely aware of both the world's absurdity and of their own ridiculousness. Frequently clever and talented, Dwarves use these gifts in a whimsical manner, often more interested in the effects / process than in the final meaning of what they come in with. Relativists by nature, Dwarves are uncomfortable with moral absolutes, and tend to take a more contingent view of the world. While they may often be interested in arts and culture, Dwarves seek these out more for their own pleasure than in order to impress others / be accepted by them. Even though they recognise that they might be wrong, Dwarves are not afraid to state their opinions on various issues, though they may be willing to change this opinion if they find a convincing argument that suggests a better one. Open and friendly, Dwarves have strong personalities, but see no reason to inflict them on other people unless asked to.
